I hate it when the boss goes on vacation. It’s not the extra work that bothers me. It’s the stinking emails.
It’s not the emails from readers or advertisers, it’s the emails from unsolicited sources, the kind we never look at.
Anyone ever wondering what Alex does. I think he spends the equivalent of a full-time job on these things, then he goes to work doing his real job.
We have one group that sends us “press releases” frequently. It’s a group of 60,000 idiots worldwide. Well, the group claims 60,000 members. I love this group.
Based only on the word of French journalist Rael, these people believe that humanity was genetically engineered by aliens. Rael boarded a spaceship in 1973 to talk with the aliens.
I don’t begrudge anyone their beliefs. They’re welcome to them, but I do take a certain delight in reading Raelianist press releases, which comment on everything from cloning and war to the Catholic Church’s crimes against humanity.
From a year ago, the Raelian website (www.rael.org) gave us this:
“It has become fashionable in ? Australia, Quebec, France, Switzerland and Belgium among some spiteful journalists to publish articles that incite hatred towards Raelians.”
I guess I’ll get them to add the United States to that list, except I don’t hate them nor am I spiteful toward them. I disagree with 74.3 percent of what they say, but I most certainly do not want to incite hatred toward Raelians. They amuse me, and I like being amused.
To those who do incite hatred, they say, “the Raelian Movement will never allow them to get away with any of these incitements to hatred and will use the full extent of the law prohibiting incitement of hatred towards racial and religious minorities to take them to court and prosecute them.
“Raelianism is a branch of Judaism, and Raelians are Jewish by definition. They venerate the Elohim, which is the name that the Jews have for God, and they recognise Rael as the Messiah who will build the Third Temple in Jerusalem, as announced in the Old Testament, to welcome the Elohim, our creators, who will bring peace to the Middle East and the rest of the world.? Anti-Raelianism equals antisemitism.”
I wonder what those other journalists said that was so rotten.
This tidbit was said by the alien Yahweh to Rael:
“God does not exist, we were the ones who made all life on earth,
“We initiated your prophets, you mistook us for gods and distorted our teachings of love.”
“Now that you can understand without mysticism,?
?We bring you the secret of how to awaken your potential and turn each moment into ecstasy.?
The Raelians just proclaimed Eminem an honorary priest for writing some noise opposing war in Iraq or something. Wow, such eminent company.
They support a complaint filed against the Pope in the International Penal Court at the Hague. The Pope allegedly contributes to the proliferation of HIV around the world by opposing condom use.
Rael offered to baptize John Kerry if he was excommunicated by the Catholic Church.
Further news from the Raelians indicates an 85-percent chance of humanity’s self-destruction with President Bush’s reelection.
Honestly, I might share some philosophy and ideology with these folks at least if their claim to be “the most politically incorrect and fearlessly individualistic philosophy of non-conformism” is true. That statement absolutely embodies my own philosophy; but come on, I’m not jumping on board with the alien theory over that, and I’m not going to accuse the Pope of helping spread HIV.
Unfortunately, I suspect socialism underlies much Raelian philosophy, and socialism is fiercely anti-individualistic, by definition denying individual economic rights and freedoms. Evidence isn’t strong though as the Raelians seem most focused against the Catholic Church, President Bush, “peace” and freeing former world chess champion Bobby Fisher. Still they offer a couple of hints.
“Humanity can only survive into the next century if fairness and fulfillment exists for everyone and if everyone is free from starvation, disease, oppression and subjugation,” comes a Raelian statement. Continue along the thread, and we find out they support anti-smoking regulations. So much for individual freedom; and they turn to government extortion (the proper word for taxes) in a most conformist way to solve problems by asking folks to join them in “petitioning the African governments to set up pan-African education funds for their young geniuses.”
In another press release, Raelians wanted to intstitutionalize mind control. They want government to step in and eliminate hatred and intolerance, bringing to justice those who incite hatred or violence toward any minority. I wonder if this column qualifies.
Just to make sure ? Folks, please, I implore you, do not go out and hate Raelians or commit violence toward them.
The movement has called for official support for an independent organization that would review every religious book and “remove all writings that promote violence.”
I think I like at least one Raelian idea.
“His Holiness Rael, founder of the Raelian movement, is so deeply moved by all the pro-peace American citizens who are deeply depressed by George Bush?s victory and are thinking about leaving the USA to emigrate in Canada, that he is giving them another much more powerful idea: Create a new nation which would regroup all the pro-Kerry states ? The New United States of America or ‘NUSA.?’
“The American citizens could then truly be free, having the choice to live in a modern pro-peace, pro-stem cells, pro-choice, pro-gay marriages New United States or choose to live in conservative pro-war, anti-gay, anti-abortion, pro “patriot act” and anti-freedom conservative USA. This action would also show the rest of the world the true America ? that most U.S. citizens are against this totally unjustified war and don?t want to follow a president who claims to be Christian while killing over 100,000 innocent people.”
Whatever.
That’s a dose of one group that spams our email. The Raelians are no doubt the most original and creative spammers we hear from.
Keep it coming, Rael.