Don’t expect a watch for reading this column

The term “road trip” is supposed to evoke the possibility of extreme adventure. For me, it is certainly that when I have to return to Sweet Home after an away game at Molalla.

The adventure? How can I make it all the way back home without dozing off or having to stop at everyregulation rest stop and a few others I have found on my own?

Music doesn’t keep me awake, so I usually have to find something else on the radio that will. With all due respect to those that love the guy, I don’t get a rush listening to Rush, who has never been wrong in his own mind and has never been right in mine. His clones, being neither better nor worse, just make me as angry as a Canadian. Now that I have lost my conservative and Canadian audience, let’s get back to sports.

I usually end up listening to the mindless drivel of sports talk shows (yes, much like this) or a sporting event. On the way back from Molalla, I hit rockbottom. The Trailblazers game was on and I couldn’t help myself. I listened as they blew a nine point lead in the last 50 seconds of regulation.

I continued to listen as Derek Anderson poured in all the Trailblazer points in overtime to actually defeat the Sacramento Kings. And then, to show how desperate I was to stay awake, I forced myself to listen to Rasheed Wallace, for some reason the postgame guest who had fouled out in the fourth quarter and was once again absent during crunch time.

But there he was. And to my surprise, it wasn’t a case of both teams playing hard. He was very affable, though he still whined about the referees. But it isn’t what he said that impressed me; it was what happened at the end of the interview. Rahsheed, for your appearance on our show, you will receive this luxury watch. A luxury watch? For speaking to the audience? Please! Here is a guy who makes a gazillion bucks and now has the opportunity to give every close acquaintance a luxury watch as a present.

Here is a warning to everyone whom I interview: don’t get any ideas. I’m not handing out anything to anyone I interview. Not a watch. Not a soft drink. Not a stick of gum. I don’t care if that upsets you like an angry Canadian. You get nothing, nadda, zip.

On the other hand, don’t be surprised if I start asking for something for the privilege of being interviewed. I have friends in low places and they could use a watch.

Obviously I made it home safely. Maybe everybody should listen to Rahsheed more. Or Rush should change his name to Rush-eed. Wouldn’t the world be a better, more peaceful place? For more on this check out the website,

Incidentally, for those Canadians who were upset with my slapshot at hockey last week, don’t you think your response proved my point?