Mallory Carlson
For The New Era
Someone famous once said that “Absence makes the heart grow stronger.”
I never truly understood this expression until recently when I came to Japan as a foreign exchange student.
Just now, in my five months abroad I can think about my friends and family back home without a slight pang in the gut. My months left here in Tokyo are starting to dwindle down, and returning home no longer seems like a lifetime away. But whether I wanted it to or not, the Japanese way of life is starting to become a part of me. Everyday I learn more and more about their culture and customs.
I’d like to share some of my experiences, thus far, with you.
My story really starts in June of last year when I along with 12 other students and two chaperones from Sweet Home High School went to Tokyo Japan for two weeks. To be more specific we went on an exchange program with Sweet Home’s sister school in Tokyo; Josai High School.
For two weeks I was mesmerized by the hugeness of the city. And when it was time to return home, I found I didn’t want to leave. So I made one of the toughest decisions of my life. I was going to return to Japan for 10 months on my own, and go to school.
The drawbacks were missing my junior year of high school and of course being away from my family and friends. But I wanted more than anything to become absorbed in another language and their customs. And luckily so far I have been able to do just that.
Because of the special relationship between Sweet Home High School and Josai High School, the Josai teachers have taken great care of me from day one. The sister program has been running for nearly 21 years and many of the Josai teachers have had the opportunity to visit Sweet Home.
My family has hosted Josai exchange students in the past, and have even had some Josai teachers up to our house for dinner and a chance to hand-feed our cows. ( Something you definitely can’t do in downtown Tokyo.) So upon arriving in September, many of the Josai staff already knew who I was, or had heard of the Carlsons. And despite the two other exchange students here from France, Josai has made sure to take special care of their sister school exchange student.
In December I changed host families for hopefully the final time. I really like the host family I am living with now. Their 21-year-old daughter, Yuri Yatsuda, went to Sweet Home for the school year in 1999. Coincidentally she stayed half of the year in my home. Her family loves to take me new places around the city. And when my mom visited me during winter vacation they completely took on the role of tour guides. We saw many famous shrines and temples and even got to see the Emperor of Japan and his family. For my Christmas present from their family, they flew my mom and I to Hiroshima to visit the Atomic Bomb Memorial Park and Museum. I could not have hoped for a better host family.
Nearly everything about the Japanese culture differs from the American way of life. But I’ve found that the biggest difference between cultures lies in the schooling systems. For starters Josai is very strict about their school uniform. Which includes (for girls): A mini-skirt, collared shirt, navy blue blazer, necktie, knee-high socks, and penny loafers.
But even the public schools in Tokyo wear a uniform as well. And while Sweet Home has pep assemblies, Rowdy 40’s, Spirit Weeks, Talent Shows, and dances, Josai….well…studies. We have assemblies but they include standing in the courtyard (in nice, straight rows) while the principal lectures the students on everything from their uniform to how they need to study more. And while it may be slowly changing, the Japanese culture still focuses primarily on the men. The majority of the women are host wives or only work part-time. This is evident at Josai where the male teachers outnumber the female 5 to 1.
Seniority is also a big issue in the Japanese culture. A prime example of this is displayed in the boys baseball club at Josai. At school whenever an underclassman passes an upperclassman they have to stop and bow to show their respect. But not only that, anytime a younger student addresses someone older they use a word that in English translates to: senior or elder. I have learned that the biggest principle in the Japanese culture is respect.
There are however things I have come to love about Josai. The students have been studying English since the seventh grade and are fascinated by Americans. So it has been no problem making friends.
In September I was shown a classroom and told: “This will be your class for the next 10 months.”
At first I was shocked that I would not be changing rooms every period and meeting new people. But on my first day of class a group of giggling girls handed me a note that said in broken English: “Let’s play, next week!”
Since then I have gotten to know those girls a lot better, as well as the rest of my class. And I must admit, the “one” classroom concept has grown on me.
But the best thing about Josai is school trips. Every year in school, there is a school trip. In January I went on an incredible four day ski trip to Nagano. The skiing was a blast and a trip to the mountains was a nice break from Tokyo. And just before I come home in July, I will get to go on the junior class trip to Korea. This is something I will probably never get to experience again, and will provide wonderful memories.
I know that some kids my age think I must be crazy to leave everyone and everything I care about for so long. Sometimes, I too, wonder how I ended up here. I was the type of kid growing up who didn’t leave my mom’s shadow until the age of 10. But already this year has taught me more than I hoped for.
I haven’t just learned about Japanese customs and traditions but I’ve learned things about myself as well. Living without my parents around to constantly make sure I am in check has made me emotionally stronger.
And going to a school where I haven’t more or less known everyone since Junior High has made me become more outgoing and sincere. Who knows what the next five months will bring me.
When I finally return home I will have memories to last a lifetime…along with a deeper hatred for skirts and dress shoes.