Mr. Collins Opus: The final concert

Sweet Home School District’s instrumental music director will retire after this year’s spring concert, scheduled at 7:30 p.m. on Thursday in the high school gym.

A lot of movement between bands is needed for the planned event, and movement is difficult in the performing arts center. Students from Crawfordsville, Foster, Hawthorne, Holley and Oak Heights elementary schools, the junior high and the high school will provide all musical entertainment.

The concert is free with no political or commercial interruptions. It is in living color and provides 3D viewing. No Internet access is needed.

Any alumni who would like to perform with the high school concert and jazz bands are invited. Music is available from the high school and all are encouraged to participate.

“To make listening more pleasurable,” Collins said. “We have tuned the banjo player’s instrument with wire cutters, while both oboes have promised not to play at the same time. The intermission will be short so we will not have to retrain the drummers. You will also discover that the difference between a bass trombone and a chainsaw is the vibrato.

“We also guarantee that we will not let the bass player drive the drummer to the performance. The last time we did this, the bass player locked his keys in the car, and it took two hours to get the drummer out.

“Please come and encourage these kids, who are doing healthy things for their minds and bodies.”