“What’s the first thing a pirate needs?” Ol’ Chumbucket asked the teens at the Sweet Home Library July 19.
“Rum,” one volunteered.
Ol’ Chumbucket explained that breaking rules is part of being a pirate, but one rule that may not be broken is the one that says you need to be 21 to consume rum.
The first thing a pirate needs, he said, is “pirattitude.”
That’s kind of like the inner swagger of a pirate. When parents say, “don’t give me attitude,” it’s like that except with a pirate on top.
Pirates need to roll, so they don’t fall down on the deck, he said, pulling volunteers up to try it, standing arms akimbo and rolling, walking.
“Part of what goes with that is the burning in your belly,” he said. “I’m not talking about that pizza last night.”
It’s a burning, rumbling ferociousness, he said, and pirates never apologize.
“I need to see less giggling and more feeling fierce,” he said when the chuckles started.
To get started talking like a pirate, Ol’ Chumbucket said, the key phrase is “‘Me hearties.’ Use it. It gives your whole day’s dialogue that panache.”
You can add “me hearties” to almost anything you say. If you lost your homework, tell your teachers, “I lost me homework” and add “me hearties.”
“They won’t question you,” Ol’ Chumbucket said. But “they may send you to the school nurse.”
When you get “me hearties” down, you can add “smartly now.”
For example, “I need a pizza, me hearties. Smartly now.”
The five A’s are critical to talking like a pirate.
Ol’ Chumbucket brought up Heidi Leonard to help explain them.
“Heidi?” Ol’ Chumbucket asked. “That’s not a pirate name. That’s a Swiss name. We’ll call ye Horrible Heidi.”
The first A is “ahoy,” which means “hello.”
The second A is “avast,” meaning, “Stand and give attention.”
“Aye” is the third, meaning, “Yes, I agree most heartily with everything you just said or did.”
The fourth sounds much like the first, “Aye, aye” and means, “Yes, boss, I’ll get right on that just as soon as I finish my, uh, coffee.”
The fifth is “arrr,” and that can mean whatever you want it to mean. It can mean, “My team is winning.” It can mean, “My team is losing.” It can mean, “I’m here and alive.”