Sean C. Morgan
At one time after his wife’s death, Dean Hawkins thought about walking away from The Horse Academy.
“But it helps a lot of people,” Hawkins said. “It’s a dream, and this dream is going to continue.”
That dream belonged to Michele Hawkins, but it was cut short two weeks ago when she was murdered.
Hawkins, 50, is now dealing with the loss and moving forward with Mrs. Hawkins’ dream.
Hawkins is friendly and upbeat as he leads the way around his home and The Horse Academy, located between Sweet Home and Lebanon on Highway 20.
In his home, he has a wall covered with photos of Mrs. Hawkins, almost all of them with her horses.
In one enlargement, she is riding away.
“This picture is her basically saying goodbye,” Hawkins said. “She’s done her ride. I thought it was really fitting of Michele.”
“This is not a shrine,” Hawkins said. “This is not anything like that. This is to honor her.”
It is there so he can share her memory with visitors.
“She had a really good sense of humor,” Hawkins said. “She had a great talent as far as making people laugh. She loved animals.… She lived her life to the fullest. She enjoyed life, and she touched a lot of people.”
Mrs. Hawkins was well-known in the Sweet Home area for raising and showing horses, particularly Arabians. She also taught many how to ride.
Her first horse was a wild mustang given to her by her father, Hawkins said. “She was bound and determined to do something with that randy horse.”
With patience, she tamed the horse, and she still had it when they were married, June 1, 1975, on horseback in Placerita Canyon in California.
“I was too much of a coward to ask her,” Hawkins said. He wrote a note asking her to marry him and handed it to her. “She kept the note all these years.”
They couple in Acton before moving to Sweet Home in 1976 and settling and renting on Ames Creek Drive where they bred, showed and raised horses. They amassed a number of trophies and ribbons over the years.
While in California, Mrs. Hawkins worked with animals for film studios. Her favorites were lions and tigers.
Seven years ago, they moved out to their new home on Highway 20. They moved their doublewide manufactured home to the property. At the time, they had one barn.
“The Lord had a better plan for us here,” Hawkins said. “It was the first piece of property we bought married.”
Five to six years ago, they went to work on a new barn.
“That’s the barn that created the problem,” Hawkins said, and he will finish the barn instead of walking away. That was Mrs. Hawkins’ wish.
The front of the barn was already in use. The academy has 21 head of horses. The barn also includes an arena, which she was able to use before her death. Friends and a family from Corvallis are helping finish the barn.
“Michele was The Horse Academy,” Hawkins said. “At one time, I thought about walking away, but it helps a lot of people. Adopted mom” Jenne Pickersgill is paying the labor costs to complete the barn. She will continue to provide lessons to adults. The children fall on Hawkins’ shoulders for lessons. Close family friend Edyne Leavenworth will continue breeding and raising the horses.
“They’re watching over me and taking care of me,” Hawkins said. “They’re extremely precious to me.”
On Oct. 5, the Hawkins worked on trimming boards to finish up the tack room.
“We spent a wonderful three days together prior to her death,” Mr. Hawkins said.
The following morning, Mrs. Hawkins was shot and killed.
Larry B. Williams, 51, turned himself in that morning at Lebanon Police Department for killing her. He since has been arraigned and indicted by a grand jury for aggravated murder and murder.
“Larry went up to his room and got a gun, came down here and kicked open the door,” Hawkins said. “She was shot seven times. When they did the autopsy, they found two more bullet wounds. They tell me she probably died instantly.”
Mrs. Hawkins has just gotten up and started her daily routine. After work outside, she returned to her bedroom where she watched the news. The house was always open to anyone with the exception of the Hawkins bedroom.
Williams’ brother, “Bennie,” was staying in the spare bedroom when the shooting occurred.
Prior to her death, Mrs. Hawkins was excited about finishing up the new barn by November when she would take delivery of new horses. The push to complete the barn apparently led to the shooting.
Six years ago, the Hawkins met Williams through horse functions.
“He like the way Michele trained,” Hawkins said. He had some horses he wanted her to evaluate, and he wanted to learn about training.
About a year later, Williams had some trouble with his girlfriend or wife at the time and needed a place to stay. The Hawkins offered him an apartment above the old barn for $400 per month after the previous tenants had moved out.
With Hawkins out of town working, he had an idea to have Williams help around the academy doing the heavy work instead of paying rent. Williams accepted the offer. He also did some work on the side. He wanted to apprentice himself to Mrs. Hawkins and learn to train horses.
While living there, he would go down to the Hawkins home, cook meals and watch TV.
“He would have relatives over, and we’d put them up in the guest bedroom,” Hawkins said. Opening up his apartment after the murder, Hawkins discovered why. The apartment was full of debris and trash.
“He had a problem with reading and writing,” Hawkins said. “Michele helped him.”
She would get his game schedule off the Internet and wrote his umpire reports.
“She did a lot of things because we considered him part of the family,” Hawkins said.
Helping people out was common in the Hawkins household, Hawkins said. “It wasn’t just him. It was everybody.”
If someone needed a place to stay, their home was open.
“Over a few weeks prior to her death, he because very disgruntled,” Hawkins said. “He wanted to leave. Michele said, no problem.”
Investigators found a rental agreement that stipulated that Williams could not return after he had been gone for 30 days unless there was an emergency. Williams had apparently refused to sign it.
“Than he turned around and said, ‘I want $75,000,'” Hawkins said. “Michele says, ‘I don’t have that much money and offered all the money we had, which was $3,500 in the bank.'”
Williams’ brother apparently reported hearing someone banging on the side of a door, Hawkins said. He had not seen anything by the time he and his brother were driving down the road. That’s when Williams told him he had to turn himself in for shooting Mrs. Hawkins.
Hawkins heard the news at work from his boss and headed for the Linn County Sheriff’s Office Lebanon substation.
“I’m doing pretty good,” Hawkins said. “It’s because of the support group around me.”
That includes Community Chapel Pastor Steve McGuyre and the district attorney’s Victim’s Services, which helped him deal with paperwork and questions. He also appreciates the District Attorney’s office and Linn County Sheriff’s Office for their help.
Pickersgill “has been taking over, and she’s been a rock in a very stormy sea,” Hawkins said. “I have to thank the newspaper groups here, the Albany Democrat-Herald and Sweet Home, because they’ve respected my wishes and didn’t come out and push the issue.”
Two weeks after the murder, “there’s some good days and some bad days,” Hawkins said. The mornings are tough, and by the evening he is emotionally drained and ready for bed. He was able to sleep all night for the first time the Friday after the murder.
Talking about Mrs. Hawkins is part of the healing, Hawkins said. He also attended Williams’ arraignment, where Williams’ attorney asked for a 60-day preparation period.
“That was a healing for me,” Hawkins said. “I was very apprehensive … because I really didn’t know what I was going to do, and the coward never even turned and looked at me. I’m angry for what he stole from this world. I’m happy she’s in a better place. It’s just my selfishness that wants her back. She’s in a better place training winged horses.”
With her insatiable thirst for knowledge, Hawkins is certain that Mrs. Hawkins took a couple of days off from horses to explore the universe.
Two memorial funds are set up to help pay costs at the academy until Hawkins can “get everything back on track.” Persons can contribute to the funds at IBEW Credit Union and Linn-Co Credit Union.